From choosing a hairstyle to deciding on a career path, making decisions can be paralyzing. What if you regret your choice? What if another choice might have been better? Because you can’t know the future, it’s impossible to make perfect decisions.
Natalie A. Kirtley (PhD ’16), an associate clinical professor who teaches a student-development class on decision-making and life planning, says the trick is to know yourself. “It’s not as simple as just learning to write a pros and cons list,” she says. “To make good decisions, you have to trust in your ability to make those decisions.”
Why do I regret a past choice?
A: If you’re not mindfully thinking about your motivations behind each decision, you may experience dissonance, a mismatch between yourself and your choice, which leads to regret and anxiety. What you don’t want to do is make decisions in a vacuum. If you understand why you make the decisions you do, you can decide if your choices align with what you truly want for yourself and what you value in life.
How can I make decisions that align with my values?
A: Make a list of concrete values to guide you in decision-making. The foundation for understanding
how you approach decisions is understanding yourself. Be curious about yourself and what you want. For example, if you have a core value of honesty, then you can consider how honest your options are—honest to others, your goals, your skills, etc. This approach helps you choose paths that harmonize with your truest self instead of creating the discomfort of dissonance.
How does self-awareness improve my relationship with decision-making?
A: Ask yourself: “Why do I make the decisions I do? Where do my decision-making patterns come
from, and do they align with what I want in life?”
If you know yourself, you can target areas for self-improvement and acknowledge your strengths, building trust in yourself to make the right choices. Life is not a product, it’s an experience. Life is happening day by day, and that takes flexibility. We need to trust our capability to navigate the path ahead, making small decisions that lead us to where we want to go in life.
