ENJOYING A ROMANTIC MARRIAGE GETAWAY . . . ALONE

By Erin Olsen Gong (BA ’06)

Undeterred by a sick husband and a snowy mountain, a young wife rekindles her marriage through Aspen Grove’s married-student retreat.

The meandering canyon road mixed my anticipation and trepidation the morning I wound closer to BYU’s Married-Student Retreat at Aspen Grove, a wedding band on my finger and a sick husband at home.

For weeks we had been planning to attend this retreat, exclusive to BYU’s married-student population, but my husband caught winter’s cold, chilling the enthusiasm for our weekend getaway.

Leaving him tucked in bed, I faced a singly awkward situation amidst second-honeymooning couples. At least we had only registered for the daytime package—two meals, a relationship lecture series, and cross-country skiing—instead of the bed-and-breakfast option.

With subsidized price tags, both the overnight and daytime-only packages make attractive deals for struggling students, and it is no surprise that I was one of more than 100 students participating in the retreat, which is offered twice each February. Mustering my courage, I crunched across the snow-covered walkway into a lodge brimming with couples, waffles, and hot chocolate.

Picking a dining table was reminiscent of lunchtime on the first day of school. I searched the room for a familiar face; finding none, I chose the nearest table. Over plates piled with waffles, strawberries, and crisp sausage, I met Jan Marie Bradford Cannon (BA ’97) and Andrew G. Cannon (BS ’02), married five years with two children (conveniently left behind with Grandma and Grandpa). Andrew is a law student at BYU, and they looked grateful for the brief weekend reprieve, as did several other couples I saw that day. Couple after couple radiated excitement for marriage and for each other.

Tifani Stewart Dustin (’07) couldn’t suppress her infectious grin, though her husband, Joshua K. Dustin (’07), donned a more reserved visage. “The retreat is a good deal,” said Tifani. “I don’t know why anybody wouldn’t do it. When do you get a romantic night getaway? You don’t! It’s just a good excuse to go.”

Later I asked if they would come again, and Joshua’s hesitant answer started a playful tête-à-tête with Tifani.

“Maybe.”

“There is no doubt in my mind.”

“We’ll see.”

“We’ll see?”

“If it snows that day.”

“No. We are going and you know it.”

I didn’t plan for it to happen, but these couples’ enthusiasm bubbled over into my seemingly empty pot. My angst and annoyance at being single for a day melted like the Wasatch snow under warming afternoon rays.

The retreat speaker, Douglas E. Brinley (PhD ’75), added to the good feelings with his humor and insight. A professor of Church history and doctrine at BYU, Brinley focused his two lectures on marital intimacy and gospel living in marriage. His entertaining style invited couples to reflect on serious subjects in a relaxing atmosphere.

“In marriage, we need to live the gospel,” he said. “We’re going to be humble enough to solve our problems together. We’re going to be each other’s therapist.”

Figuring therapy for one was better than therapy for none, I took notes on Brinley’s lectures and thought of a few relationship changes my husband and I could work on later.

For me, the retreat concluded with a delicious lunch of lemon chicken and veggies. Afterwards, other couples geared up for cross-country skiing while I arranged to redeem our ski passes later and headed back to the car.

I sailed down the mountain road with the sun on my face, the wind in my hair, and the radio playing a favorite song. The getaway had rejuvenated my part of the marriage, and now it was time to help the other half.